Happy Birthday To Me

My birthday is close. In a few days I’ll be 44. Sounds old, but I’m getting myself back in shape and I don’t feel my age.

That being said when I think of all the things I’ve experienced and gone through, I feel every second of those 44 years.

Some of my favourite memories around my birthday revolve around my childhood and family. I still have a quilt my Mum made for me when I was turning 8. She quilted on patches of all the things I loved at that time. A Rubix cube, airplane and a pair of hockey skates with a stick. Things I still love to this day.
Possibly my favourite birthday memory as a child was with my oldest brother Jason. I must’ve been 8. My neighbour had a bike that resembled a dirt bike. These were a coveted item in the early 80s. I wanted one so badly. We collected bottles from every drunk in downtown Red Deer together for a summer, saving every penny. I remember the trips up to Canadian tire buying parts with him. I can’t remember where I went, it was a summer camp of some kind, but I’ll never forget my return.  As we approached home I saw a bike sitting proudly on top of a car and Jason  holding it up like a trophy for me. He had taken all the parts, and used them to build me a motocross bike. The bike was beautiful. It was a blue 3 speed bike frame, with big shocks on the front and modified handle bars. It was perfect. To this day it is my favourite gift received.
In recent years since my divorce I’ve had many quiet Birthday dinners with my two kids. This year I’ll do the same. I recently renovated a kitchen for a chef who specializes in birthday cakes. I deliberately ordered a cake for 20, knowing it will be just us three. I think I did it for 2 reasons, to support her new business, and to pretend I was going to have all these people over to celebrate my birthday. This way I have the anticipation of an event without having to actually plan or do anything.
Delusional, I know.
My Mother was close to my age when she discovered she had cancer. I think of that a lot, It makes me grateful for the gift of time I’ve received. It seems like almost weekly I hear of someone I know passing away. My number could be called at anytime.

My prayer is I get to see my children have children, walk my grandson or granddaughter in a park, take them for breakfast and watch them play a sport they love.

I’m thankful, I’m lucky. I have a massive family, some amazing friends, and the two most important people in the world to me near and with me at all times. I love you deeply and for infinity Alastair and Brooklyn.

Happy Birthday to me.

Tris.