Flight

Few things bring me peace. I have a chaotic mind that never stops. I’ve been diagnosed as being Bipolar, or as it used to be called, Manic Depressive. It’s really hard, really hard. Balance is very hard for me to achieve, and I constantly struggle to be present. This has been very hard on all my relationships. Even my kids, whom I adore above all, will tell you how hard it is to deal with.

I’ve been medicated for it many times. Everything from Paxil to Cypralex. Alcohol, my favourite symptom reliever, makes me the happiest guy in the world. But as we all experience, I pay a heavy price the following weeks. If you give me one drink I might be ok, give me 2, and you better start hiding every drop of alcohol you have in your house.

In the last few years, I’ve all but quit drinking entirely. I’m no longer taking any pills. I’ve found new ways to control my imbalance. They are Swimming and Flying.

When I swim, I’m submerged. This sensation calms me. There’s a very simple task and you have to do it or you’ll sink. No decisions to make, no way to complicate it. You move your arms, breathe and follow a line. Every time I come out of the pool healthier than I went in.

Flying. This is the one that brings me joy. An emotion I rarely feel. Pure joy. Every time I push the throttle in and start rolling, I’m smiling. When I leave the ground and start to climb, I’m happy. I leave all my problems on the ground.

Everything looks small from the air. Everything seems possible. Sometimes I land at a quiet airport and just sit on the grass. Small Airports are usually tranquil places. When I wasn’t current, I would drive to small aerodromes and walk around.

It’s also a good hobby for me, there’s lots of things to keep my mind busy. Pressure Altitudes, density altitudes, crosswind components, drift, true course, magnetic course, indicated air speeds to calibrate and then calculate true airspeed. You can sit at a table, get the winds aloft, and with a protractor and a pencil draw a wind triangle in seconds that will visually show you how to correct for wind. Basic simple Gr 4 math used in a very cool way.

But mostly, when I fly, I sense greatness. For me it’s God, for others it’s Mother Nature. It helps me put my life and myself in perspective. Through my eyes, I have a clear view of the world, and the realization that most of the time I choose to only focus on myself inspires me to forget myself and enjoy the view.

I’m a low time pilot. I fly the lowliest plane out there. It’s a Cessna 150. It’s not my own, I’m a member of a very cool Flying club. But when I’m flying I feel even less than that. I feel like a speck, insignificant, that’s why I love it.

If you read this far thank you,

Tris