Dad

One of the greatest things that has ever happened to me is the gift of fatherhood.

Prior to my son being born I was in a deep depression, and isolated emotionally. Nothing brought me joy, I was mired in a swamp of self loathing.

Then I was given a card. “You are going to be a dad.” it said.

My first response was to get up and think about work, and if I could provide for this child to come. My greatest fear has always been the fear of not being able to provide for a family.

Soon, everything became new again. When I first met my son my belief in a God was cemented. That night I drove home, I thought about all the great things I’d do with him. For whatever reason, I couldn’t wait to take him to the Zoo. I wanted to watch him see things for the first time. His smile made me smile. His laugh made me laugh. His little arms around my neck brought tears to my eyes more than it should’ve. In many ways he gave my life purpose.

I was lucky enough to experience this again with my daughter. We didn’t bond initially like Ali and I did but as she got to 12 months we were fast friends, and share that bond to this day. We run the dog together, fly airplanes together, laugh at ourselves a lot. We have the same sense of humour and love to mock ourselves. In fact I’m waiting to watch her play volleyball right now and I’m so happy to be here.

When you get divorced you give up something huge. 1/2 time with your children, sometimes more. But for all those out there going through it, it’s ok. 1/2 time of good quality time spent putting your heart into parenting is lots of time. Don’t waste any on guilt or regret.

Alastair is 16, Brook is 13. I can see the end in a way. The end of childhood. The end of being needed. But I see beginnings too. Ali went to ‘Law day’ yesterday. He will be very, very successful. Brook will be someone you hear on your radio if she chooses. She’ll also be above you flying planes. They will always be in my heart.

It has been and will always be my greatest honour to be a Dad.

Now I’m off to go watch a volleyball game.

If you read this far, thank you.

Tris