My Best Friend

I’ve written about some of my greatest friends. Sean, Devon, my family, my two phenomenal children. I have more to write about. Cory, you’re next.

But tonight’s blog will be about my Best Friend. I’m unworthy of this friendship. This Friend has never left me despite the fact I’ve turned my back on Him over and over again. I willfully choose my own path, my own ego, my own selfish desires, over anything he might ask of me. Yet, he never abandons me.

When my Life falls apart, He’s the first person I run to. When my Life goes well, He is the first I abandon.

Recently I was accused of being a fraud. I was accused of saying all these things I believe in, but not living it. The truth hurts, she was right. I am as fickle as they come when it comes to being loyal to this Friend.

A few years ago, I was hit very hard with a series of events that crippled me financially and emotionally. Someone I loved had decided to turn to someone else. My business was dealt a heavy blow. I felt worthless.

It was around this time that I sought help from this Friend. He helped me to believe in myself again. In the quiet stillness of the early mornings, we would talk. I’d ask for strength, He’d tell me how to find it. His influence helped me to drink less. His influence helped me to connect with the things I loved again. In no time I was swimming, flying, enjoying my work. I was giving up evenings of conventional “fun” to drive myself to Calgary on a Saturday night to connect with my Friend. The normal time to hang out was Sunday, but I couldn’t wait. Other nights me and my Friend would jump in a plane and fly over his work. My friend is an Artist.

Pathetically, I started ignoring my Friend. My Friend who only ever brought happiness and peace into my life. Like a damn fool I leaned on my own understandings.

Left to my own nature I am a natural contrarian, I like to fight everyone and everything. I like to fight alone. Me against the world. I love making everything an injustice, then go to war over it. I have problems with Authority, I hate being told what to do. Slowly, I have been heading for that cold, hard space I have spent most of my life in.

It’s time to stop. Turn around. Head back to my Best Friend. My Guide.

I AM a fraud. I’m the last person in the world that can tell anyone how to live. But if I could say something to those that see me, and think less of my Friend because of me, it would be this:

“If Jesus could love me complete with all my failures and flaws that are so obvious for you to see, imagine how much he must Love you.”

He’s real. He’s my Best Friend. He’s yours too, if you don’t already know.

I’ll share a meme a friend sent me. I hope whoever created it is ok with that. Somehow I’m sure they would be.

If you read this far, Thank you.

Tris