Toxic

Toxic Masculinity. Some may be surprised at my thoughts on this. Well, that’s assuming anyone cares what my thoughts are in the first place.

I spend a lot time railing against progressive, politically correct culture. I loathe it. I detest how we use social constructs to view individuals.

So does it surprise you when I say I absolutely believe that there is such a thing a toxic masculinity?

I have been guilty of perpetuating this myself. You don’t spend 30 years in Construction, be one of 5 brothers, and try to earn a living with a Grade 9 education without being a little “tough”. In the past, I would of said I’m tough.

But lately I’ve been reflecting on my life. Am I really tough? Who is actually tough?

Cowboys, they are tough right? I mean they never stop writing songs about it. But are they tougher than the immigrant worker working for 5 bucks an hour at the ranch, sending money home to his family? I doubt he’s that tough.

Those men in the gym, they are tough right? Some sure seem to think so, they admire themselves in the big mirrors at the gym constantly. I often see them admiring their arms as they walk. They must be tough. But are they tougher than the guy who is looking after his young children in the evening, changing diapers after a long day, no time for the gym? I doubt they are that tough.

The CEOs, they are really tough. They make the hard decisions. They can lay off hundreds. They can make a ruthless move to destroy a competitor. Ya, they are tough. But are they tougher than the small business man that goes deeper into debt to make payroll, because he knows his single employee needs the job? I doubt he’s that tough.

How about the guy with the giant testicles hanging from the back of his lifted truck? He’s tough. But is he tougher than the guy driving down snowy highways in a beat up car so his wife can drive the ‘safe’ vehicle? I doubt he’s that tough.

Hockey players, they are tough. They pick their teeth up off the ice, and barely miss a shift. But are they tougher than the kid who never got to play the game, because his parents could never afford it? The same kid who grew up and decided to coach young kids to play the game he never got to play? I doubt they are that tough.

We need to stop judging men. Who gives a shit if they can’t change a tire. Who gives a shit if they can’t hunt, shoot, fight, curse, build, lift etc……

Do they complain? Are they selfish? Are they kind to the weak? Do they help others? Are they the first to pay and the last to eat?

As mentioned I have a lot of brothers. All tough. You mess with one of us, you get us all. But the toughest is Nathan. He gives unconditionally. He’s kind to everyone. He works tirelessly. I want to be more like him.

My son is tough. Really tough. He’s the one who helped me look at this and realize some things. He’s always stood up for himself. I’m so bloody proud of my son. I want to be more like him as well.

If you read this far, thank you. Tris.