Carrie

In my late teens and early 20s, my life was pretty tumultuous. Those that know me, would not be surprised. Those that knew me then, will remember.

I left my family home for the last time when I was about 19. I had been working full time for a few years, and it felt like my opportunities were limited.

My friends all had farms to buy into, land, cattle, and opportunities I just didn’t have. I was a carpenter, sort of, and didn’t see a future.

My girlfriend at that time made a very wise decision that likely made her parents happy, as well as herself, and felt I wasn’t a great fit. My older siblings were all married, and I think selfishly I didn’t consider my younger siblings feelings at all, and I took a job in Meeting Creek.

There, I met another girl, who I fell for. It wasn’t a great fit, she was my Boss’s daughter, and by then I think I had some serious emotional issues, and really was in no shape to attempt any kind of relationship.

She was also no fool, and made an excellent choice, and started dating a friend of mine. All is fair in love and war, and truthfully I think I was so messed up that I couldn’t possibly have known if I loved anyone or not.

I left that job for another. I joined a travelling construction crew, and stayed in hotels for a few months.

This was where I met my children’s Mother, someone I’d marry and share nearly 2 decades of my life with. Someone who I still deeply respect to this day. She worked front desk at the hotel I was staying at. However we didn’t start dating at this time.

Soon I was shipped off to Cranbrook, B.C. to build some basements. The company I worked for was based out of Pincher Creek. So, I spent some time there as well.

This was where I met Carrie. Someone I barely know, but I always smile when I think of her. I was reckless, erratic, and pretty much out of control. However, when I was hanging with her I felt calm, happy. It just felt so right to me. We became friends. I realize I must have been a subpar worker, because again the work dried up. Calgary was booming, so that’s where I went. Anyone could get a job there. So, I did.

I fit in on the crews in Calgary. The other boys where as poor as me. I felt at home. We all drove crappy cars and trucks, all needed advances, all couldn’t afford dinner on the Thursday before payday. I was happy.

What made me even happier was I’d sometimes get a call from Carrie, and she’d sometimes take my call. She was a beautiful soul. I remember one day coming home and getting a Birthday card from her, it made me so happy.

I called her that day….

“Hello.” the voice of her mother answered.

“Hello,” I replied, “Is Carrie home?”

“Yes she is, is this Tristram?”

Uh oh… why does my name always sound like a dirty word when someone says it….?

“Yes it is.” I replied.

“Tristram, do you think you’ll ever join the Church, and live a life inside the Church?” was the gist of the query.

Never one to ever say anything but what I feel is the truth, I replied, “I can’t see it right now.”

“Well Tristram, it would mean a lot to me if you don’t see yourself in our faith, that you not call Carrie anymore.”

“Ok.”

A few kind words of encouragement where offered. I was numb. I couldn’t get off the phone fast enough.

So, I never did. Never. Not one single call, card, and this was in the days before text. I’ve never seen her or spoken to her since that day.

Recently, 25 years or so later, I was telling my daughter this story at my nieces wedding. As I just finishing up the story we opened the door to enter the hall and Carrie’s mother was there. I hadn’t seen her since our phone call either. We exchanged pleasantries. I doubt she remembered the call. It just made me laugh. When I think about it I realize she was just being a good mother. I hope she’s happy, and proud of me for respecting her wishes.

I’ve obviously moved on, I heard she’s married, big family, in the faith. Everything is as it should be. However, I will never forget how being around Carrie made me feel like I was enough, ok, accepted and cared for.

I’d be lying if I said I think of her often, but I’d also be lying if I said it’s rare. At a time in my life where I felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere, every minute around her made me feel like I belonged. I’ll never forget her kindness.

If you read this far, thank you.

Tris