They call it the millionaire’s family. One boy, one girl. I do not have the million but God blessed me with a son and daughter. Most recently he added another daughter to my family.
At my son’s wedding this summer, I became emotional as I watched my son’s beautiful new wife dance with her loving father. The way he draped his paternal arms around her as she melted into them is a memory I will never forget. In that moment I glimpsed the first time she was hurt, heartbroken. I felt all the years he worried about her. I imagined the day she took her first steps to him. I saw a father’s and daughter’s love. As the dances ended I walked over to my daughter’s table and pointed at her, “You and I are doing that one day.”
“No we are not!” She retorted.
“YES, we are.”
This was not something she expected. I have never been the warmest Dad. But I love my children as much as any other Father.
Brooklyn, along with her brother are my world. She is beautiful inside and out. She has always been a light for me. She fights for the underdog. She comforts those that feel alone. She seeks out the hurt ones and tries to ease their pain. I could write a thousand things I love about her, her talents, but these traits are the things I am most proud of.
Most of us do not understand what daughters need from us. I am starting to figure it out, but it is coming very late. I can only pray not too late.
Who am I to tell anyone anything? No one. But if I could say something to fathers I would say our daughters need love, safety and strength. We need to listen. I never listened to my son or daughter enough. The Killers have a song called Heart Of A Girl. It has a lyric in it:
Daddy daddy daddy, all my life, I’ve been trying to find my place in this world…..
Baby baby babe, I got all night, to listen to the heart of a girl.
We need to be someone they feel safe opening up their hearts too.
If I could say something to daughters, I’d tell them we are different. We do not often understand things that your mother just gets. We get a lot wrong, but we adore you. We love you more than you could ever know. Some of us, many of us, well we just are not good at knowing how to make you feel it. But trust me its there.
For all the daughters out there that feel unloved, I am sorry. You know who you are. Your fathers are too broken and lost to show it or perhaps they feel unworthy of you and choose to love you in pained, lonely silence. I am willing to bet most of them if not all would lay their life down for you in a second. I have met many men over the years who are estranged in varying degrees from their daughters who cannot hold back tears at the very mention of them. I know there are daughters everywhere that feel unloved who have a father that has a giant hole in their heart that was once filled by them. You are deeply loved. Know that. If not by your earthly father, then most certainly by your heavenly Father. The Creator of all magnificent things. The Creator of you.
If you read this far, thank you.
Tris
Tristram's Blog 